10:47PM —

“My obsession with losing you is gone.”

My ears don’t listen to love songs the same anymore. I rarely, if at all, catch myself daydreaming to Sade’s [Like A Tattoo]. I find it more enjoyable than before because I don’t expect the next man I meet to fulfill my fantasies.

Loving feels much better this way. Stripping down has introduced me to a new way of living. At first, I believed that “going with the flow” meant you were naive to reality. Now I see it as being able to be present, allowing yourself to take in moments as they come, and be okay when that time is up.

This doesn’t just apply to relationships but jobs and material things too.  Sometimes you’re forced to leave the cozy job you’ve been working for 10+ years because business isn’t booming anymore. Or you lost that really beautiful necklace your grandmother used to wear. Yes, that shit sucks, but attachment doesn’t necessarily mean guarantee.

Breaking up with expectations has been a game changer for me. I can exhale with ease because I’m not waiting for something to happen. I wake up every day knowing that the good won’t last forever and neither will the bad, but at least I can find comfort somewhere in between.